Moving On
by spacejelly
Summary: Years after the events of Ys Book 1 and 2, Feena can't help but think about Adol.


The Black Pearl was sitting on a marble pedestal in the middle of the temple, its powers contained within, forever sealed away from humans and demons alike.

Watching over it were the twin goddesses, Feena and Reah. They had made it their mission to protect the world from the devastating magic the pearl was capable of manifesting. It was after all, their fault it had been unleashed the first time.

They didn't know of course the evil it could bring. They were simply trying to bring prosperity and wealth to the people of Ys, who they had taken a liking to. They had spent decades watching over them from a distance, observing their kindness, but also their faults and their struggles.

It was Feena who first brought about the idea of helping the humans. She was always the softer one of the two. Feena managed to convince Reah that they had stop acting like a passive observers and start taking an active role in the lives of the inhabitants of Ys. She thought that, with their help, they would create a better, more idyllic society.

Reah liked the idea.

And so one day they revealed themselves to the people of Ys, along with the Black Pearl. They taught them how to use its magic, and turned their silver into Cleria, the magical ore.

The people of Ys in return for their gifts started worshipping them. Feena and Reah were surprised at first and tried to dissuade them, but there was no way to change their minds. So they humbly accepted the role and started guiding Ys into a golden age.

The Goddesses had chosen six men and women to be their "priests", although they objected to the term at first. They were to help them research the true capabilities of the Pearl, and to teach the next generations how to channel its magical abilities.

The people of Ys built cities and temple, dedicated them all to the goddesses. It was good to live in Ys back then.

* * *

Now they spent their time watching the Black Pearl. Ys was whole once again, but it was no longer the paradise it used to be. Feena and Reah knew it was for the better, as that golden age came at a great cost.

They rarely ever left the temple; They always worried that if the both of them were not present at all time evil would resurface. They felt a tremendous amount of guilt for the destruction they inadvertently brought about.

Most of the people of Ys, now Esteria, had forgotten about them. Maybe it was for the best, or so Reah thought. Feena missed being among the humans. She was always closer to them than Reah. Which meant the isolation hurt her way more.

They would get visits from time to time. She cherished the ones from Lilia the most. She would bring back news from Ys and from the outside world. Most of that news would be of war and destruction. Not always, but too often.

It wasn't always bad though. Sometimes she would bring with her a letter from Adol. Those were the days she was waiting for the most.

He did not write often, as he was rarely in a position to, but still, he did write. The length of his letters would make up for the rarity of them. He would detail all his latest adventures, his great struggles against evil, and talk about all the wonderful people he met along the way.

Feena and Lilia would read them together with attention.

Adol would always conclude his letters by wishing them well, and expressing how much he missed them.

"If he misses us why doesn't he come back then!" would always object Lilia.

But Feena knew that somewhere deep within Adol was desire for adventure stronger than in any other man, an inability to stay at the same place too long.

She sometimes worried he would leave a trail of longing and loneliness around the world the same way he has around Ys. It was obvious Lilia has had a crush on him ever since she found him unconscious on the edge of the floating island of Ys, or at least ever since he saved her life. Poor thing. Feena hoped she would be able to move on, but she understood her. These feelings, she shared them as well.

He had done so much for her and for all of it she would be eternally grateful. But most importantly he was the first to treat her like any other person. This unlocked within her a new set of feelings she never considered. Desire, longing, love, she had always been capable of them, but it wasn't until she met Adol that she realized it.

Before his departure from Ys she made him promise to always see her as a woman first and a Goddess second. She sometimes felt embarrassed of her words, but felt comfort knowing he would keep his promise. She could tell from the way he addressed her in his letters.

But she knew he was not coming back. Not anytime soon anyway.

In a way, maybe she should be the one who should move on. After all she was immortal, so she had all eternity to. But she also had all eternity to wonder "What if?"

What if he had stayed in Ys? Could they have been together? She might look youthful but she was still a being older than time. And he was barely a young man. And what about seeing him age and die? Could she have dealt with it without herself losing the will to live? She was needed to contain the Pearl. She could never give in to despair.

Still most of the time he occupied her thoughts. And he probably would for the rest of time

* * *

One day Lilia came for one of her visits only to find Reah pacing around the temple.

"What's wrong Reah?"

"It's Feena, she's gone off somewhere without telling anyone about it."

"Oh no! Do you want me to try looking for her?"

"Please, that would ease my worries greatly."

"No problem. I'll have her back here in no time!". Lilia was always so cheery Reah thought.

"Thank you Lilia."

Reah had such a serious look on her face, it made Lilia a bit worried too, but she would do everything to find the missing goddess.

She stepped out of the temple. "Where could you be, Feena?" she thought to herself. She looked around from the balcony, thinking maybe she would feel something by looking in the distance, something that would direct her to Feena.

So she looked. It had been a while since she took the time to observe Ys from here. It was beautiful. She could spot Lance village and Minea. She could see the ice wall, and the river that ran through Ys. And of course, she couldn't miss the tower, formerly known as Darm's tower, now the Tower of Esteria.

It was mostly uninhabited since the demons left this plane of existence, apart from a few scholars hellbent on studying its architecture.

Somehow Lilia felt this was were the goddess had gone to. It was after all the best view in all of Ys.

And so Lilia started her journey towards the tower. It took her a long time to get there. Half a day at least. She hoped it wouldn't be in vain, but something in her gut told her it was where Feena was hidden.

She was exhausted when she reached Zeptik, and because night was starting to fall, she decided to rest there.

She continued her journey to the tower as soon as the sun got up. No time to waste she thought. She was worried about Reah, alone in the temple, bearing the weight of containing the Black Pearl's powers on her own. She was worried about Feena as well, even more so. What could have happen that would make her disappear like that, without a word?

Reaching the tower from Zeptik was easy. But she still had to climb the damned thing. She started going up the floors, on after the other.

She would sometimes come across someone studying the place. They would ask her what she was doing, and to all she would reply she wanted to see "Esteria" from uptop.

After a couple hours of going up the tower, she reached the top.

There, sitting on the edge, was a woman with long blue hair. Feena.

* * *

Feena turned her head around when she heard Lilia come in. She got off from the edge of the tower and towards the center of the room.

Her eyes were wet and there were traces of tears down her cheeks.

Lilia noticed it immediately. She grabbed the goddess' hands and invited her to sit on the floor.

"Feena, me and Reah have been so worried about you. What is going on?" Lilia was still holding her hands.

"It hurts so much. I couldn't bear it anymore."

"What is making you so sad Feena?"

Feena stayed silent.

"It's about him isn't it?"

She looked Lilia in the eyes and nodded. "Yes."

"I can't stop thinking about him." she added, emotion swelling in her voice.

"Oh Feena..." Lilia opened her arms, offering a hug. Feena accepted.

"Everytime we get a letter it gets worse. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't write. Maybe it would make it easier to forget him."

"I know." Lilia pet the goddess' hair trying to calm her down.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring this up to you. I know how you feel about him too."

"Don't worry about it. Don't think i haven't noticed the look in your eyes when i mention him. I've known. And I think I can understand how you feel more than anyone in the world."

"I suppose you're right. I'm sorry"

She paused.

"I needed to let these feelings out. I've been bottling them up fo so long."

"Why didn't you tell Reah? Why hide from her?"

"I didn't want her to tell me to chase after him. You know how she is. She would have accepted the full weight of protecting Ys from the pearl just so i could be happy. I couldn't do that to her, and i couldn't do that to Ys."

"I see."

"But there's a selfish part of me that still wants her to do that . I want to see him again Lilia. It eats at me. I see him in my dreams every night."

"I understand your dilemma. You know, I've thought about chasing after him too. But i know I'm not strong enough. I've made my peace with it. I think I can see myself moving on. But it's hard."

"It's so hard Lilia. I don't think i can do it. I've never met anyone who made me feel this way. I spent so many years being seen as a goddess, surrounded by people who had nothing but admiration for me, but still separated from them on every level..."

Lilia never thought about how hard it must be to be a goddess.

"And one day he shows up and saves me, shows me kindness and attention in a way I've never received before. For the first time i felt like a regular woman. I felt love for someone, not as a Goddess to the people she protects, but as a person to another. I didn't know i could feel this way."

Lilia could tell she was in so much pain.

"He's only been gone 3 years, but it gets worse and worse all the time. How will it be in twenty years? Fifty? A hundred? What am I supposed to do Lilia?"

"All you can do is hope he is happy and well. Hope that he keeps writing. And with each passing letter, slowly try to move on. It will be hard and painful. It might feel like dying sometimes. but I will be there to support you. So will Reah. And I truly believe that, with time, the pain will fade away."

* * *

**The End**


End file.
